"No apparent motive
Just kill and kill again
Survive my brutal thrashing
I'll hunt you till the end
My life's a constant battle
The rage of many men
Homicidal maniac..." -King
Sometimes I wonder if I was meant for more than robbing and murdering my fellow man. Luckily, that
little tinge of humanitarianism passes quickly, and I get back to being realistic. I have yet to land
in a world where murder wasn't the most profitable business going.
Lionni seems to rake in decent cash,
and all she does is collect lint, fur, and recipes.
Maybe I just need a profession change.
Maybe I need... who knows.
I do know I need cash, though.
And lots of it.
Back on The Island I was able to pick up odd jobs here and there by asking around town, so I tried that
in Gludin. Wasn't too long before I ran into a guard who was searching for a merc or two in order to get
a few issues addressed.
Captain Bezique had an interesting offer. It seems that when Gracia tore up Gludin and left, a few
companies of mercs stayed behind and took up residence near the town. These mercs have been sneaking into
the town and stirring up a bit of the old nastiness now and then. A bit of brigandry and theft, but enough
to warrant the Captain's attention. He told me that if I help get this problem under wraps, he can help me
secure a position in the rogues' guild. I accepted.
"There's a woman of reknown in town who can aid you. Bring her this lett..."
"Ok, stop right there." I knew where this was going. "How about we skip the silliness and cut to
the chase. Let's hop passed the 'thrice around town and back again' stuff. What do you need
me to do?"
He smiled and then continued, "No running around. Just take her this letter. She'll outfit you and
send you on your way." He seemed sincere about that, but then again Dread Lord IKillPeople always
sounded sincere every time he said "I promise. That's the last time I gate poison elementals into
the tower on storytelling night."
Neti was a bit of a pain to find, since she tucked herself into some hole in the wall away from all the
shops and trainers. Just as well, though, considering her past and the nature of the job, an quiet corner
is the most reasonable location to set up shop. She certainly wasn't what I expected, as she was far from the
rough-around-the-edges swashbuckler that was described to me.
She was a lady of decorum and she was very well-spoken. She looked over the letter from Bezique
and then it happened...
"Before I send you on your way, I will need you to pass a test for me," she said as she handed me a bow and dagger.
"It's a very simple test, really. Use this bow and dagger to kill the skeletons in the Ruins of Sorrow and bring me back
10 bone pieces as proof of the deed."
"What if I just bring back 10 pieces from one kill?"
"I'll know."
"Ok, so what if I bring back someone else's bone pieces?
"I'll know."
"How?"
"You can test me, if you'd like, but if *I* were you, I wouldn't chance my only ticket into the rogues' guild
over something that can be easily resolved by simple honorable behavior. Besides, you'll have plenty of chances
to be a lying and deceitful bitch once you join the fold. Good day to you, and be careful in those ruins!"
Her pretentious little pursed-lipped smile was smackable, but I needed a job and lint-collection wasn't my cup of tea.
I headed to the Ruins and proceeded to get my butt handed to me. Repeatedly. Solarium, one of the fighters hunting in the area,
suggested a few times to me that maybe perhaps it is possible that I might be a tad too low level for being there and he
was really polite about it even on the third time that he was handing me my dropped equipment.
On my fifth trip home, courtesy of the scimitar
flailing apparitions called Raging Spartoi, I asked around town for some suggestions as to why I'm getting hurt so severely.
After a few conversations with people we figured that my tattered old wooden armor was too "n00bl4r" and
that I needed to upgrade. I sank my last 35k into a new set of bone armor and headed back. The armor helped
a lot and I made a mental note that at every opportunity to do so, upgrade gear.
I found that I could get some decent remains from the skeletons there, so I concentrated on them instead of the spartoi.
The new armor and the easier target made for a quick and painless harvest, and I was soon neaded back to Neti.
I handed her the bag of fragments and explained to her that she can toss the dagger, because that was about the most useless
weapon I'd used since I landed here. She told me to hold onto it and use it for hunting the bandits.
And do you know what she does?
Guess.
Yup... "Ah! The bone fragments! You've done well. Here. Take this HORSESHOE OF LIGHT back to
Bezique as proof of your accomplishment." No, my dear reader, I am not making that up. She handed me the
HORSESHOE OF LIGHT. I couldn't make that up even if I tried. I stuck the thing under my
jacket, because I really didn't want to have to even try to explain what it was to anyone as I headed over
to Bezique. What was more amazing is that this was some kind of standard ritual for them. I show him this
ridiculous thing and he's "Oh! I see that you have received the horseshoe of light from Neti! It seems that
she perceives some talent within you! You must be more skilled than you look!"
.. and he got all that from a horseshoe. A horseshoe, mind you, in a land where I have so far not seen one
single horse. Someone told me there are unicorns, but that's the same guy that told me there are dwarf-piloted
airships.
After a quick explaination of their whereabouts and a tad of chatting, I was off to go kill bandits with
a wanted poster in my sack for reference.
Blah, blah, blah.. bandits... foos... werewolves with red armor instead of werewolves in grey armor.
That's the trivial part of this whole thing. Whack! Whack! Whack! The Cat's Meow Red Eye Bandits of
the Oren Mountains or whatever they're called this week are dead and I go back to the Captain with
the sack of baubles that were so important that I had to go murder these guys for them.
He was happy. And then he made me happy: A letter of recommendation.
I was a few days away from being in the rogues' guild. New skills, new missions, cash flow, and a
license to murder. I was a happy camper and I headed off to rest up and dream about what pleasantly
bizarre adventures tomorrow wil bring.
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